Breaking Fresh Ground

More of Him - Less of Me

I spoke with a woman today who is going through quite a bit with her family.  She is a smart, talented, motivated gal who is committed to being the best mom and wife that she can be.  She wants to do so many things.. to use the gifts that God has given her, to serve in the areas that she loves so much, but is unable to pursue these things because of the emotional and physical energy that is required from her at home. I really respect her.  I think it was a total "God thing" that I ended up chatting with her today, because God has been showing me lately that I need to focus where HE wants me to, not always where I want to.  That is just so difficult sometimes!  I know that for her (and I,) He is preparing us for our future "ministry" by teaching us things through where we are NOW. God is laying some pretty interesting things on me lately, and most of them are so far out of anything I would ever want to do.  My first inclination is to say "NO WAY!" but maybe He wants me to get over MYSELF and the things that will make ME happy or build ME up, and put my efforts into things that will build HIS kingdom. Hmm.. Imagine that : )

"If anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for me will find it."  Matt.16:24-25

"He who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who builds his house on the ground without a foundation.  The moment the torrent strikes that house, it will collapse and be in complete destruction." Luke 6:49

"You were running a good race.  Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?  That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you!  You were called to be free, but do not use your freedom to indulge in the sinful nature; rather, SERVE one another in love."  Galatians 5:7-8, 13

G-slapped!!

Have you ever been on AIM and seen that little emoticon that says "b-slapped"?  (It even makes a slap sound when you send it)  I know that the "b" stands for a naughty word, but it still makes me giggle.. Anyway, last night I was officially G-slapped!  Yep..God whacked me upside the head, (not really, but you know what I mean) and let me have it!

You see, sometimes folks who are wired like me (you know, the artsy, emotional type people), can tend to get quite wrapped up in our feelings.  We internalize things, and while we may have a very plausible point, we take it to an unhealthy level by over analyzing and critiquing to the extreme.  God showed me that I sometimes get WAY to caught up in details, and therefore end up losing sight of the "big picture."

Just like a father to a child though, He forgives me, opens my eyes to the truth, and sets me back on track.  His unconditional love and guidance overwhelms me.  I'm going to make more of an effort to stay away from "tunnel vision"..to keep my focus on Him and His will instead of mine! 

Kinda like a ton of bricks...

I know I've posted before on hearing from God.  No, I don't think I'm a prophet.  Far from it.  Most of the time I don't feel that spiritual at all.  Every once in a while though when I think things seem to be going along just fine, I am completely blown over by something God wants me to hear.  Not a whisper, not a "still small voice", but a powerful push!  Recently it was something that I needed to confront someone close to me about.  I'm telling you, it was so strong that I was sick to my stomach.  I knew that the confrontation would be difficult, so I tried to convince myself that the whole thing was silly and extreme.  He wouldn't let me get off that easy.  He kept pressing on me.. revealing more and more about the situation to me until I had no choice.  What's really hard is that even after I was obedient to this "nudge", I still was having doubts that I did the right thing.  I've beat myself up over it, and questioned my heart and motives.  Did I really hear from God?  It's pretty amazing though that He knows when I am doubting and over analyzing, and keeps confirming to me in lots of ways that my obedience will bear fruit in my life, and in the lives of those close to me. 

What I'm trying to work on is keeping myself quiet before the Lord.  Not making an appointment where I turn off all music, cell phones, and pagers and say "O.K. God, is there anything you have to say to me?", but a lifestyle of listening and following his voice, of going where he wants me to go, and doing what he wants me to do.  I want to humble myself before Him.  He's always there.  Would I do half of the things that I do if Jesus was standing there next to me?  Do you know what I mean?  I want to be in touch with Him.  I desire an intimate relationship with Him.  It's like when my husband is trying to tell me something, or he's upset or stressed about something. I notice right away that something is wrong.  How much more should I be like that with my Savior?  I get so busy that I tune Him out sometimes, and unfortunately He has to speak pretty loudly to get my attention.  It's pretty awesome that He doesn't give up on us though.  He keeps calling to us until we answer. Hopefully next time, it won't take me so long!