Breaking Fresh Ground

Top Five?...

Spurred by someone who commented that they thought a recent weekend worship service was in their "top five" as far as vocals go, I got to thinking about all of the experiences that I've had leading worship, and tried to pick my "top five." 

Interestingly enough, the worship experiences that I felt were really amazing were not exceptional vocally, they were not when we had the most kickin' band, or when the lighting was just right, or when everyone really seemed to enjoy the song.  The most "moving" times, the times that I felt God's spirit undeniably, the times that I will NEVER forget, are the times when my heart AND mind were completely committed to His purpose (not mine), and when I was able to keep my focus on Him!  Trust me, it sounds easier than it really is when you are trying to remember lyrics, smile, keep your eyes open, deal with technical issues, etc! 

I remember one particular evening where we did an Oasis set, and after the first song was a little "iffy", I made a decision to just sing my heart out and focus on Jesus and all that he is, instead of on me an all that I'm not.  Afterward, no one said "Wow, your voice was flawless", or "You really nailed it", but I saw tears, I saw people kneeling right where they were, I saw people shed their inhibitions and dance!  Someone whose opinion I really respect said to me, "That was amazing, God's anointing was all over us!"    That's worth more than a million "You nailed its" to me!  To even be a small part of ushering in His presence is so awesome!  God used me because I humbled myself before Him, and opened my heart to what He could do through imperfect, messed up people like me.

What are some of your top 'worship experiences', (doesn't have to mean during a worship service or even involving music at all..  most of mine don't) and why?

We did it!

My friends Sunny and Dave and I actually led worship at our staff meeting today while playing OUR GUITARS.  (Dave is an accomplished player and teacher and has led worship many times with his guitar, but us girls are total beginners) Yep, we played in front of living breathing people!

It wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible either.  It definitely made me realize how much more practicing I need to do.  Since I came really close to backing out quite a few times, I feel pretty proud that I actually went through with it.  It can only get better right?

A True Worshipper...

I read this post on www.ragamuffinsoul.com, and had to repost it.  I cried off my mascara just looking at the picture. It really puts into perspective the reason why we lead worship.. It is SOOO not about us..

Holding Worship

Posted on 23 March 2008
Tags: Authenticity, Worship Leading

Easter.
So much going on. So much to do.
I was leading worship today yet couldn’t take the executive producer hat off so I was thinking about tons. Cut this song? Redo lights there? Pull the painting? Have Jeff do the invitation? Blah Blah Blah Blah.
I was exhausted. We picked a fairly high energy worship set and did 5 fairly taxing songs.
So I walked in this evening. I was tanked. We rehearsed and ate and I was honestly kind of waiting for the night to get going so we could lead and go home.
Then it hit me like it does every week that these people at the 6 pm service are coming to church for the first time today. Gut check. Time to sing.
Walked out. Salvation Is Here…LALALALALA.
I’m in verse 2 and I look to my left and am hit like a blind side pick and roll.
Swaying on the front row was a guy I later learned was named Matt.
Standing in front of him was another guy named Jefferson.
It was a moment that stands out above all else in my 11 years of leading worship.
You see Matt and Jefferson were worshipping God, together.
Literally.
Jefferson has severe cerebral palsy. He has little, if any control over his body.
Matt was standing behind Jefferson.
Holding Jefferson.
20 minutes.
Dancing with Jefferson and singing at the top of his lungs.
Jefferson was singing too. I think could hear him.
And it was the most beautiful song I have ever heard.

There are hundreds of thoughts, emotions, and lessons that could go along with Matt and Jefferson.
To watch them sing out and dance was a thing of beauty. Obedience. Unbridled Joy.
Thank you Matt and Jefferson for a shifting moment in my life.
I honestly want all of you to comment here.
What can we all learn from this picture of Authenticity?

You make everything glorious..

     As some of you might know, I can tend to be a bit of a perfectionist.  That can sometimes be good, and sometimes it can be bad... very bad.  So here is my perfectionist confession:

     As the vocal team for this weekend (Henry and Laura.. you guys ROCK!) were preparing our music, we learned that we would not have a drummer, bass player, or an electric guitar player for our weekend services.  Now for those of you who do not have a full band at your church on weekends, this seems like no big deal, but when you are used to singing with a whole bunch of talented musicians on a regular basis, this can be a little "different".  Anyway, my nose was a little "out of joint" about the whole thing as I listened to the practice cd and wondered how the heck we were going to do this.. I expressed my "concern" to the other vocalists, and then decided I better just keep my attitude "in check" and my comments to myself.  As I drove home friday night I thought, "Tina, you can be such a jerk!.. What makes you think that our praises are anything but wonderful to God as he listens intently?  Will He not accept our worship unless it is of cd quality?"  Yes, He wants our very best, and that's what each one of us up there is going to give.  I don't think He's gonna stamp our praises "return to sender" just because they don't include a kickin' drummer and a screaming guitar solo! 

     So... I showed up to church on Saturday with a fresh new perspective about the set and what my role was going to be.. I am a worshipper!  Some of the most powerful worship times I have experienced have been when I am pierced by a simple melody, touched by a poignant lyric, or moved by what the Holy Spirit can do when you are least expecting it.  This weekend was a pleasure.  Steve and Mike C. rocked on their instruments, and I think we pulled it off!  Not only did we pull it off, but as I sang the lyrics to the song "Take Me Higher", it was like I could hear His voice saying to me.  "You're getting it!  This is what I want from you.. your heart!  Keep your focus on ME, follow me, and everything will fall into place.."  Sweet!  He can take ANYTHING and make it absolutely amazing. 

One of my new favorite songs says it this way..

My eyes are small but they have seen the beauty of enormous things                      Which leads me to believe there's light enough to see                                               that You make everything glorious..

Are YOU a Leader?

     Ive been thinking a lot lately about Christian leadership and what I think it takes to be a great leader. While I know that there are different types of leaders with very different personalities, I think there are some very important character traits, skill sets, etc. that a leader should have. 

     I believe that a leader should be confident, secure, organized, decisive, firm, educated in the area they are leading, realistic, steadfast, task oriented, and should understand that they can not make everyone happy all of the time. BUT.. a leader should also be sensitive, passionate, prayed-up, willing to follow God's leading even if its not on the run-down sheet, humble, charismatic, relational, and inspirational.  Do you know many leaders who have these traits and are able to balance them effectively?

     Am I putting to much emphasis on all of the things that a leader should be, and not having enough faith in God to fill the "gaps" in their personality?  Do we need to split leadership positions so that more than one person and their personality strengths can competently fill the requirements I listed above?  Are those requirements unreasonable to ask of any one person?   Is the reason why I don't "step up" or lead in more situations.. because I feel that I can't be all of those things?  Or, is it because I realize that leaders must fail sometimes? After all.. failure (in our eyes) can be God moving us away from something that we thought was what we were to be doing, and pointing us towards HIS plan.  Is my picture of what a leader should be too unrealistic?  I know.. a lot of questions for a friday afternoon, but that's what I'm trying to wrap my head around lately. 

God needs some great leaders.. Anyone up for it?

Everyone is Different

Have you ever wished that you had someone else's gift?  I remember as a kid, asking for something for Christmas, and even though I received what I had asked for, I wished I had asked for what my sister had.. I wanted her gift.  Her gift was better than mine!!  As we know, this can be a common pitfall for those who have artistic temperments like me.  I have struggled with this one in the past, but I am learning to be happy with the gifts that God has given me.  I'm learning not to be too hard on myself because I can not do what someone else has been annointed to do.  God annoints each one of us to contribute to the body of Christ in some unique way.  God made me different from everyone else to fulfill the desires of his heart, and he promises to fulfill the desires of MY heart too! (Psalm 37:4)  I think that putting too much emphasis on what our gifts AREN'T instead of what they ARE will prevent us from working to our full potential, and get in the way of what God can do through us.  We should be thankful for the gifts that we have, and appreciate  God for giving them to us!   

God is stretching me, and it hurts!!!

O.K., so here's the thing.  I sing.  I sing all of the time.  I sing in my car, I sing in the shower, I hum along with the soundtracks of movies in the theater, I LOVE to sing.  My passion for singing to the Lord far outweighs my talent as I would consider myself an average-at-best singer, but I am priviledged to be a part of the vocal team at my church.  These guys rock!  They inspire me to be better.  I'm learning that God wants me to be better too, but I have to get out of my "comfort zone", and frankly.. I'm not one who likes to spend too much time out there.  I decided long ago that I would be great at facilitating worship, as long as I didn't  have to LEAD worship.  I would sing in a group, I would sing back-up, I would ooh and ahh and la, la, la during all of the songs, but I was just not comfortable singing by myself, and speaking by myself in front of everyone..FORGET IT!! My "gift" is far to inconsistent to be trusted on it's own. I can belt it like Patti LaBelle in a group, but get me out there by myself and I sound like a nervous little schoolgirl who just ran a 10k!  Boy, do those nerves take over!! "Use me Lord, but only in the ways that I am comfortable."  How lame and completely immature is that?   Well, let me just tell you that our Creative Arts Pastor and Director have got my number.  They know exactly what takes me to my "nauseous place", and they have repeatedly asked me to go there.  It's been two steps forward and one step back, and even though it doesn't sound like it sometimes, I think I'm making progress.  I came to this conclusion recently.. All of us up there are Worship LEADERS! Regardless of whether I am singing with 25 others, or by myself, I am LEADING worship.  It is a huge responsibility and an honor to be able to bring people closer to God through song. So I have to leave my "warm fuzzy place" every once in awhile.  It's nothing compared to what my Heavenly Father did for me!!  So, from now on, I'm going to dive in wholeheartely to whatever is put before me.  I am going to get over myself and do my very best for my Savior, and trust Him to take care of the butterflies!!